Roommates no more

Today we went to the library.  I try to stay there as long as I can so I dont have to come home, I dread coming home.  On our way out, I picked up the apartment catalog with a slight hope of a chance of moving out, my own place so I dont have to stay out for the very reason of not going home.
"What is the price range  for the apartment?" My oldest asked.
"Well, we pay 641 now so 700 at the VERY most." I said
My youngest said, "becuase papa has a job?"
I cringed at this question, they still dont know how much I want to leave. Thoughts of the girls and I coming home just my place flew through my head. I clenched my fist.  I never responded. I have to keep that to myself until it is time to tell them.
I sort of get an anxiety attact driving closer and closer to the apartment. I dread unlocking the door and seeing him there, you are not welcome, please not be in the living room watching tv. That's my space.
I sleep in the living room and my dresser and all my clothes are all on the chair, my stuff is all stuffed in between the tv table and the dresser.  I shouldnt have to live like this. There should be a freedom where you dont feel like a prisoner.
Two weeks ago, I typed out the "Goodbye letter" and dated it for this month, January.  I havent found the time to have the guts, words to give it to him. I beleive the next week is it.  I gave him 5 months to find a job.  That is the month I am moving out.  I plan to ask the manager of this apartment complex if I take my name off of the lease and lease my own apartment here will i get the $534 rent amount a new resident would pay, if not I will have to find another place.
I know I have waited to long and wasted so many years, but I think this year is my year. Things will be different, more challenging and sometimes scary.  But I have to face these fears for me...I just cant live like this anymore.