I don't feel human in this relationship. I feel like just another object that is in this household. I am the bank, the grocery shopper, the chauffeur and lastly the housekeeper. I am the one who is always sitting alone in the living room. Noone to talk to, no one to have a mug of coffee with in the mornings and I feel like I am just like someone who is here for everyone else. So, I have been practicing saying "no" because I am not going to be taken advantage of just because someone wants an ice cream at 10pm.
When I ask them (kids) to ask their father for stuff instead of me they bypass him and don't even bother to ask him. Why? I don't get what he does (or doesn't) to make them say "nope not going to ask him" I am not the only parent here in the house. So, now I am practicing saying no and they have to ask him. Besides, he makes more money anyway. He's all wearing new shirts, and buying records and I am the one who has to fork out all of her paycheck to pay for everything for everyone's needs. NO! Not anymore, I am going to try to save money. Maybe go on a trip by myself? Well, that is the dream plan anyway.
I wonder sometimes if they all came home and I was gone..like gone in another country for a month and they all had to fend for themselves. How would it be when I come home? Would they all be able to budget the money and stop buying shirts, records and crap? Would the rent get paid? Food? OH the internet god forbid the internet get shut off! HA!
I one day want to look back and say You know what you did what you could and now it is time for you.
Give me five to six more years...
