In the few years, I have been trying to focus on myself and my mental state. I call it self care but I think it is more than that. I have suffered from depression and it still lingers time to time.
I now have chosen to make myself come first. Well, at least try. I have to say it isn't easy. I still have to do stuff for others and find after I haven't done anything for myself.
This blog is going about What makes self care so hard to do?
I have found that over the years I had a priority list when it came down do take care of things. My kids always came first, buying clothes, eating first, their time with friends etc.
Now, they are older and are starting to learn self independence. They have now learned how to do their own laundry, they can cook a little not a whole dinner but small meals. So, now I have found that there is some openings for myself. What can I do to put me first.
First I have learned to say "no" to requests that A) they are capable of doing themselves, and B) lesson on time management. In the past they have both come up to ask me for help on school projects that are due the next day and I would jump to their rescue. This is when they were in elementary school and I understood they couldn't get the time management down just yet, so then was parenting duty to help them.
Now, I have put my foot down to them both that I will not help them on a request so close to a deadline. They need to learn to manage their time even if it causes them to fail a time or two.
I have learned to limit my time driving, assisting and doing things in the past I jumped to make their lives less stressful. I have had my time of stress and I also learned to manage my time to alleviate that. I now must focus on my time and mental health and physical health.
Today, I have made notes on eating, exercising, and relaxing. I have also written in my planner when to take care of myself each day. I know this may seem redundant each day to remind myself to take care of myself but if I don't remind myself, I will go downhill mentally.
I have to stay on top of it.
Well, until the next time,
Take care of yourself and Always Forward!
Tuesday, July 2, 2019
Message: Don't Be Afraid to Change Everything
So today I was picking up my daughter from her friends house, she mentioned that her friend was proud of her mother because she was buying a car for her self. I didn't really pay much attention because she was also mentioning that she was leaving the home. Meaning, she was moving on her own, getting her own place, and buying a car of her own.
At that moment, I was like, I have been planning all these years and someone has the strength within to actually do it. Here I am still "locked in place" hoping my time will come. As I was coming up to the door, I remembered why I was waiting, I want both of my girls out of school and out on their own. Then I will hopefully, have the money and the location where I want to live, and work.
So, yeay for her mother moving out and standing up for her self. Starting her independence. I will have my day too, someday.
I have been out of work for a long time now, seven months, and I have been thinking, what if I got a job somewhere else and that was my ticket out to move out and on my own? Then I think yeah but the girls are still in school. I need to wait...
Sadly, that is still four years away, I sometimes think, am I not worth it? I have to come dead last to spend my last maybe 20 to 30 years alone happy? Literally, I have MAYBE half the rest of my life to be able to do what I want to do. Maybe less than that to be physically fit to do anything. Damn, why do I have to wait?
I read and find pictures of 20-30 year old men and women all living on their own in small houses and campers and traveling. I sit there and think, "damn I wish I had the creativeness at that age to live on my own and travel like these youngsters are doing now."
There was a question on Instagram asking their followers, "What would you (off the top of your head) tell your younger self/"
One said, "Don't be afraid to change everything."
That made me see everything today. I feel like even though the question was to the "younger self" I know it was a message to me today.
I think in my age, I was taught to go with the flow and do what you are told and everything will fall into place. Life will work it's self out. I have been very conscious on how I do things now a days.
I ask myself, "Is everyone else doing this? Has society brainwashed me to do what everyone else is doing? I think, the "Millennials" are doing just that. They see that the society isn't working like the "book" says like I think the Baby Boomers grew up doing.
Baby Boomers were taught the ABC steps for a "successful life." They got to school, complete college, get married and find a job and start a family and buy the house..." Ugh
Now today the students of college are learning the debt they will start off with will burden them more if they follow that route.
They are not getting married as fast, they aren't having kids as soon, and they aren't working the jobs they were promised after a successful completed degree, so now it is back to the drawing board, of where to get the job is it going to support them. Having a baby is so expensive they will hold off, and now pets such as dogs are the "kids" of the family. Bravo!
My mom is avid for my youngest brother to get married and start having kids. I feel she doesn't see the money burden of it all. Getting married is nice and all but it is a commitment both parties have to fully and strongly agree it is the right time without the outside pressure. Then after the marriage, they have to deal with the parents pressuring them to start a family. At 36-39 years of age, that is a bit of a stretch. I hope my brother finds the happiness even if they don't get married.
That is my two cents.
Well, once again I have written all over the place. I hope it wasn't to bad.
I guess all in all, I hope that my future improves and the Millennials do to.
Until next time. Keep your eye on the ball....
My ball:
Future to freedom
At that moment, I was like, I have been planning all these years and someone has the strength within to actually do it. Here I am still "locked in place" hoping my time will come. As I was coming up to the door, I remembered why I was waiting, I want both of my girls out of school and out on their own. Then I will hopefully, have the money and the location where I want to live, and work.
So, yeay for her mother moving out and standing up for her self. Starting her independence. I will have my day too, someday.
I have been out of work for a long time now, seven months, and I have been thinking, what if I got a job somewhere else and that was my ticket out to move out and on my own? Then I think yeah but the girls are still in school. I need to wait...
Sadly, that is still four years away, I sometimes think, am I not worth it? I have to come dead last to spend my last maybe 20 to 30 years alone happy? Literally, I have MAYBE half the rest of my life to be able to do what I want to do. Maybe less than that to be physically fit to do anything. Damn, why do I have to wait?
I read and find pictures of 20-30 year old men and women all living on their own in small houses and campers and traveling. I sit there and think, "damn I wish I had the creativeness at that age to live on my own and travel like these youngsters are doing now."
There was a question on Instagram asking their followers, "What would you (off the top of your head) tell your younger self/"
One said, "Don't be afraid to change everything."
That made me see everything today. I feel like even though the question was to the "younger self" I know it was a message to me today.
I think in my age, I was taught to go with the flow and do what you are told and everything will fall into place. Life will work it's self out. I have been very conscious on how I do things now a days.
I ask myself, "Is everyone else doing this? Has society brainwashed me to do what everyone else is doing? I think, the "Millennials" are doing just that. They see that the society isn't working like the "book" says like I think the Baby Boomers grew up doing.
Baby Boomers were taught the ABC steps for a "successful life." They got to school, complete college, get married and find a job and start a family and buy the house..." Ugh
Now today the students of college are learning the debt they will start off with will burden them more if they follow that route.
They are not getting married as fast, they aren't having kids as soon, and they aren't working the jobs they were promised after a successful completed degree, so now it is back to the drawing board, of where to get the job is it going to support them. Having a baby is so expensive they will hold off, and now pets such as dogs are the "kids" of the family. Bravo!
My mom is avid for my youngest brother to get married and start having kids. I feel she doesn't see the money burden of it all. Getting married is nice and all but it is a commitment both parties have to fully and strongly agree it is the right time without the outside pressure. Then after the marriage, they have to deal with the parents pressuring them to start a family. At 36-39 years of age, that is a bit of a stretch. I hope my brother finds the happiness even if they don't get married.
That is my two cents.
Well, once again I have written all over the place. I hope it wasn't to bad.
I guess all in all, I hope that my future improves and the Millennials do to.
Until next time. Keep your eye on the ball....
My ball:
Future to freedom
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