Since the fad to purge belongs one hasn't used in six months is blowing up social media, I thought I'd share what I thought about the whole idea. I personally love it. I have gotten rid of shoes, clothes, and items I haven't even layed eyes on for years!
I also cleaned the fridge out and threw out all the food that we "saved" for leftovers that is never touched by nobody! I think the new thing I am going to try is buy the food daily for dinner not weekly and save all the food in the fridge. Because sometimes, we don't end up eating the pre planned out dinner. Our fridge is bare but I am much happier than opening the fridge and find moldy food.
I am currently watching a video on Youtube about organizing the fridge and she bought alot of plastic bins to put the food out opened. I tried that in the past and no one in the family saw the organization and just put things randomly in the fridge and it made it worse because I couldn't find a place to put stuff.
Less is more...space. I have always been a bit of a purger. I think I learned it from my parents. They would periodically "clean the house" and then have garage sales. I live in an apartment and don't have a garage. I daydreamed of having a "garage sale" in the apartment where people would come in and items with the sales stickers on them they can take home. I guess that would be a bad security issue idea but it was just a thought.
So, I am a bag lady, I have backpacks, grocery reusable bags, purses... ugh. I had the coat closet filled with all of them. I finally got rid of a few purses backpacks I found myself keeping why I don't know why. I think I still need to learn to let go of things and not find everything "useful". Yes, backpacks can come in handy but as many as I have I don't know..
I found that in time I have hung on to items that in the past I would of gotten rid of long ago. Getting older I wonder that because I am are getting closer to old age, I tend to hold on to the past?
Well, my past hasn't really served me well. I need to look into the future.
Out with the old and In With the NEW!
Tuesday, January 29, 2019
Sunday, January 27, 2019
Change of plans...With in time
Today, I was thinking of how I have been feeling in this relationship. I ask myself, Am I growing, mentally, or am I stuck in a rut of rethinking the same situation over and over? Am I planning to change the situation whether it hurts others as I get out of the situation? What is the collateral damage? My kids, is the only damage I am concerned about.
The reason I am writing this through is because this is the third time I have felt neglected by my whole family. My kids are teenagers so I understand that they don't want to spend time with me but with another adult in the home who is suppose to support me and maybe ask how I am time to time, and hasn't is something to consider the relationship is close to be ended.
So, lately I have thinking, I will make my move out when the girls leave the house so that way it won't feel like I am abandoning them. Now, I'm at the stage where I might even leave after the oldest leaves. Hopefully, sooner the better.
In the past I have planned to leave and either chickened out or didn't because the economy for housing is hard and expensive. I calculated my income and I would have never made it. So I postponed the move out plan until the kids are out and I can leave him.
The reason I chose to hopefully leave after the oldest leaves as a sooner move is because I can't wait that long and live this life I am living, sleeping on the floor of the living room, not knowing how much the household makes, where the money he is making going, and the emotional neglect is the worst. Robin Williams had a quote, "I use to think the worst thing in life was to end up alone, it's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel alone." This is exactly how I feel right now and have for a long time. I think of this quote everyday. I ask why am I tolerating this behavior. Some would say, talk to him. Whatever I say seems like it goes out of his head. Then he says very little like is doesn't even matter to him. So, I don't bother.
I think he is over the relationship too and is just hanging on for financial reasons. I wonder sometimes if he had considered filing.
I had told him years ago I was leaving and he said that he would then start to live out of his car. I was like no I can't let him do that. I think he did that on purpose to make me feel guilty...it worked. I stayed. He has used manipulation as a tool to get his way. I think he learned that when he was younger.
My dream isn't dead.
I picture myself living alone in Oregon State by the coast like the the place I visited on a trip with my mother. We were on some kind of tour bus visiting all the beaches. We visited a tiny tourist town. I was in love I told myself I was going back there to live when I was older. I was hoping like at age 20 or something but now, I think this would be a perfect time to move there.
I can't wait to live on my own.
The reason I am writing this through is because this is the third time I have felt neglected by my whole family. My kids are teenagers so I understand that they don't want to spend time with me but with another adult in the home who is suppose to support me and maybe ask how I am time to time, and hasn't is something to consider the relationship is close to be ended.
So, lately I have thinking, I will make my move out when the girls leave the house so that way it won't feel like I am abandoning them. Now, I'm at the stage where I might even leave after the oldest leaves. Hopefully, sooner the better.
In the past I have planned to leave and either chickened out or didn't because the economy for housing is hard and expensive. I calculated my income and I would have never made it. So I postponed the move out plan until the kids are out and I can leave him.
The reason I chose to hopefully leave after the oldest leaves as a sooner move is because I can't wait that long and live this life I am living, sleeping on the floor of the living room, not knowing how much the household makes, where the money he is making going, and the emotional neglect is the worst. Robin Williams had a quote, "I use to think the worst thing in life was to end up alone, it's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel alone." This is exactly how I feel right now and have for a long time. I think of this quote everyday. I ask why am I tolerating this behavior. Some would say, talk to him. Whatever I say seems like it goes out of his head. Then he says very little like is doesn't even matter to him. So, I don't bother.
I think he is over the relationship too and is just hanging on for financial reasons. I wonder sometimes if he had considered filing.
I had told him years ago I was leaving and he said that he would then start to live out of his car. I was like no I can't let him do that. I think he did that on purpose to make me feel guilty...it worked. I stayed. He has used manipulation as a tool to get his way. I think he learned that when he was younger.
My dream isn't dead.
I picture myself living alone in Oregon State by the coast like the the place I visited on a trip with my mother. We were on some kind of tour bus visiting all the beaches. We visited a tiny tourist town. I was in love I told myself I was going back there to live when I was older. I was hoping like at age 20 or something but now, I think this would be a perfect time to move there.
I can't wait to live on my own.
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