Process of elimination

I had to make a decision on one of my classes.  I wasn't doing well and with the other classes I am grasping them. I thought that to keep myself in tuned with the positive aspect of school I need to eliminate what is bringing me down.  So, today math is no longer a part of my weekly routine. I do have a bit of guilt because at the same time I didnt give it my all, I threw in the towel.  The weight of feeling of failing can take a toll on me.  I hope I can get over it soon enough to get on with the rest of the semester. Math has never been my strong subject. I have guess will always struggle with math except for the basics.  I think with Algebra I just cant grasp it with every day living.  Is that why it is so hard, because I can not relate it to every day living activities?
I withdrew my math pre algebra class, not with my tail between my legs but with my head held high knowing that I now can focus on my other courses.  Its funny because I thought I was going to withdraw my social working class.  Not that is the class I truly am enjoying.  Goes to show that taking steps can help make up your mine on what is best for lifes decisions.
Math will always be there.  I will take them toward the end that way I will be able to just focus on that.

Article in March Instyle

Just what I needed! Will read and review here later.

Not my goal

I do not want to look like this. ever.

Instyling Anew

I seriously need to make an attempt of bettering my wardrobe. I am looking through Instyle wearing a black Zoo York sweatshirt, grey chopped yoga pants white socks, and Crocs...yes I said it own a pair of Crocs.
With that said looking through the Instyle magazine, I want to research what is in style that I myself would wear.  Luckily, it is the March issue I am flipping through. Hopefully, I will get some ideas that will induce the need to rid of my current wardrobe.  I have started somewhat of a trend for myself. I have purchased some scarves now I have to find the ensemble to go with them.  I have gained 20 lbs so wearing nonelastic pants is now uncomfortable for me.  I actually have try a size 14-16 just feel comfortable just to sit down. 
The magazine isn't much help. Considering the models are all a size 0, I have to consider what works for my "apple" structure.

Just last night I was viewing customers of Michael Kors  opening and reviewing their new bags on Youtube.  Note, these bags cost half I pay for my rent. I thought if I'd I bought one of these one: what in the world would put in it, two: my wardrobe I currently have would be the reason the bag would not see the light of day. So I have to start with my wardrobe and slowly weedout the clothes I have had since maybe 10 years now.
So Instyle, do your thing! Help a women in fashion need!

Patience

I have two part to do and online math homework and I have no motivation to do any of it.  I don't know if it is part of my depression or just not sure of what my major is that is killing my learning motivation.  Last semester I gave a hoot about failing, now I am failing my math and I could care less.
I'm wondering there is something deeper, something that has haunted me all my life bases on my learning abilities.  I already know I don't get things right away I literally have to do them over and over again. This may be the cause of my frustration.  I see others get the class assignments fast but I always still have questions. I hate that.  I wish I could be in the norm.
I do however think that at my age I understand my learning abilities more than I did when I was Freshman in college years ago.  So I mostly tell myself that I have to be patient with how long I will get something in a class.
I will get through this.

Path

Today in SW class I think I found out what I want to do in SW.  Work with LGBT.  There are so many suicides among the LGBT youth community.  I think when a youth "comes out" they feel not that they feel free more that there is now more of a challenge to live in society. There are centers bit from the one I visited I didn't feel very welcome..not in a sense that I was driven away just that they weren't willing to help openly.
If there was a way I could be apart of the communities centers I would try everyway in the book to help the LGBT youths. 
I found this out while in class we were discussing why SW are needed in the LGBT communities and a light came on.  I feel now there is a purpose for my direction of education.  Now I think I need to research the community and find statistics, and information to understand the diversity of the community.

Disappointment but Determined

I think I put up a wall this weekend after taking my math test. It was on  the second chapter in the class I still managed to flunk it.  I did tell myself that "This is math and I have to take my time to get through it.  Even though I might have to take it over again, the class, the class over again.  I know that this is the stage I have given up in the past I have attempted college and dropped out because I thought that I won't make it any farther than this exact place in math.  This is why I chose to persevere through this regardless if I fail to the end.  I just have to get through the hard rock wall I have always faced in the past that stopped me.  This time I am finding the sledge hammer and try to break it down, even if it takes another try in another semester.
With all the fear I have had in the past of failing, I know this is the time to face it and charge through.   Stare at failing in the face and say, "I'll be back!" Because I will.

Tests..Am I ready?

OK, so I didn't take the second  math test the day I was suppose too.  I have to wait until I am ready.  I felt that the time between the chapter started and the time to take the test was to short for the content we studied. So I have to take it Saturday.  I need a great grade considering she is taking 5 points off because it will be take late. Last test which was the first chapter (smh) I got a 67%.  Not a way to start the course.  So I have been trying to find a way to calmly find my way of getting ready for the test.
I have to take it in two days...ugh

Hopeful Writer

     Well, it is another semester and the challenge is already stout. In the English Academic Comp class I am writing a paper on how to write with style.
     I just write. Never mind knowing what style.  But it is deeper than just writing plainly and distinctive, it's the reader you must put in mind with every sentence, phrase and words.  I knew that the reader would have opinions of what they read, I just didn't get that it was important enough to work harder or smarter for the audience.
     Like now, I am just writing in a venting fashion knowing there is no audience reading this...I think.  I know my vocabulary is bare to the minimum and I have to walk loong distances to achieve where I hope to be one day.  Published.
     With the classes I am taking I am learning the proper way of writing with topic sentences,  thesis statements etc...ect.
Just today I was in the stall knowing the degree I am studying for is not for me.  Today was the last day to drop.  I decided that I want to take  English Literature classes and possibly have that as my minor degree.  I want to learn not only how to write papers but to learn how people are able to write; I mean really write. Novels,  poetry, short stories and have them published.
     I know I have it in me. I know this is my sparked passion. Please let it be true and rewarding as I hope it will be.