Hard times draw the fear in but it's the move that will make the fear disappear

Today is the second day of the third week of October.  I was hoping I was going to at least have an interview for any of the jobs I have applied for by now.  Nothing.  I have a bill I have to pay for and I don't have a scent in either of my banks.  I have a pair of earrings I am trying to sell for the price they are worth. I had them partially appraised but no paperwork to go with them.  I haven't had any offers for them either.  If I had it my way, I would have sold them for at least 100 dollars.  That way, I could pay off my bill and not worry about it anymore.  I would then find a job that pays enough to support myself and the girls.  That would be about 19,800.00 dollars a year.  I could totally make that work for the three of us.

I know times are hard now but I am always optimistic of the future now matter how often it doesn't happen.  Every year I think this way, and every year it turns out the same.  I read somewhere that if it isn't your time it won't happen.  I wish it wouldn't take it's sweet time!  I have been in this boat for too long.  It's time to get my Jordan's on and make the leap.

The time I make that leap, I think that my luck will change.  So, what am I waiting for?  Probably for my fear to subside.  Fear takes over me and holds me down.  In my past I always asked others for support or more like approval.  Today, I don't have people to discuss what my plans are and if they are suitable for my future.  Having someone to help me decide what is best for me has probably hurt me more than helped me. I now rely on that hand to walk me through my difficulties.  I have to eventually learn that this is my life and I need to take charge of what needs to be done for me to make me happy.  It isn't in any other persons hands or minds what is good for me.  I have to now remind myself that what I do may be consequences but mostly will help me build my mind strength to move forward and do it alone. Not every move is going to detrimental.  Most moves will take me to the right direction that I have needed in so many years.

Being Real

Ok, so what if I don't pass the final.  I have worked and yes I don't understand a lot of it.  The quizes online shows that.  If I don't pass the final it'll be ok.  I just have to take it again (the coarse) and remember what I learned this time.  I also did pass a mile stone in this coarse, I actually made it this far.  The last few times I bailed out before half time.  In the time I have tried this, I gained more and that is what life is about, right, leaving with more than what you came with.  So yes I do feel I have gained a lot since August regardless if it isn't enough or as much as others left with.  I am doing this for my good, I will take what I can and grow it in time. 

Always take things positively, no matter how bad they seem. Grow it with what you have..time is on your side.