At Wit's End

Ok, so it's like I can't get what I have been wanting for 7 years.  Finally I get up the courage to take that one step to get it started and at the end it all falls through...almost, I am shooting before loading but that is where I feel where I am. I don't know if the BAH paper will come in on time and most importantly the Finanial aid will go through....I have never had such bad luck and bad timing in my whole life.  What is this?! I have had thoughts about what if this doesn't follow through and I became stuck still in this relationship I am hating so bad right now...I'd kill myself just to get out.  It isn't  that the relationship is abusive, or anything I just cant live like roommates anymore. There has been nothing there and I am done. Sleeping on the living room floor for 4 years is way to long to keep going like this.  Sleeping on the living room  floor with all of my belongings in the living room because I already moved out for 4 years is madness.  It has to stop.  I am trying and for some reason the walls just popped up and everything could fall through...I am at wits' end.  I WILL MAKE THIS WORK. IT WILL HAPPEN